Dead? Or Alive
by Deepinthefanfiction
Summary: What if when Augustus died, it was only momentarily?
1. Crying

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. The amazing John Green does. I only own the plot of this story**

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**Third Person POV:**

Hazel cried. Normally Hazel Grace Lancaster never cried. But when she found out that Augustus, the love of her life, had died; she cried. And she sobbed. And when she couldn't cry anymore because of stupid body functions, she sat on her bed and cursed the world. She hated it. She hated the world and it's stupid freaking cancer. She couldn't take it. Out of all of the side-effects in the world, it just had to be Augustus. Smiling, happy Augustus. Walking around with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Just when she was about to start sobbing again, her phone buzzed. She looked at it. It was his mom. She just knew that it would be more bad news so she declined and cried. His mom was probably just going to say that he had lived a good life and that Hazel shouldn't let this ruin hers. They were all going to say that eventually. Her phone buzzed again. And again. And again. When finally she just put it under her pillow to block out the sound. She laid her head down and started to fall asleep, started to get out of this world of misery.

She heard something just as her head hit the pillow. It was coming from her phone. And it wasn't a buzz. It was one of his favorite songs. It was her ringtone for him.

_What if…_ she wondered. No, he was dead. As much as she would liked to have believed that he could possibly be alive, he was dead. Freaking cancer did that to him. But she answered the phone and cried with tears of joy when she heard;

"Hazel Grace…"

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**Hey Guys! So I know that I should be working on a few of our other stories but I really wanted to write this one. Forgive me. Anyways... I don't know how long I'll make this story. Probably a couple of chapters. Please Review! Love you guys to the moon and back!**


	2. I'm Grand

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. The amazing John Green does. I only own the plot of this story.**

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**Hazel's POV: **

A minute passed. And then another. And then after another five minutes, his beautiful voice came through my phone again:

"Hazel Grace?"

"Yes?" I whispered. It was really him. It was really Augustus. He was alive. He was speaking to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly sounding worried.

"Yes, yeah. I'm fine. What about you? Your mom told me that you-"I couldn't do it. I couldn't say it.

"I'm good, grand actually. But no I didn't-"he couldn't say it either, I guess "no my heart just stopped beating for a couple of minutes. That's why my mom was calling you." He whispered to me, as if it was a secret that only we shared and not the entire hospital and his parents.

"Oh, I guess I should have picked up when she called me then." I said, suddenly hating myself.

"No, no it's good that you didn't. Because now we can talk, almost alone." He whispered to me through the phone, through the miles that separated us.

"Almost…" I repeated.

"You know, I wanted to call you as soon as I woke up, but my mom wouldn't let me. So, of course I get one of the cool nurses who understands my problem and she says to my mother '_Excuse me but could you please sign these forms' _so naturally while my mom passes by my bed I quickly grab my phone from her purse and…" he started to say something else but I wasn't paying attention by that point. I just wanted to hear him talk. To hear him be alive.

"Hazel Grace?" he asked. Crap, he must have asked something when I was zoned out.

"Yes?" I tried to convince him that I had been listening to his story the whole time.

"I asked you if you had told your parents yet. Or do you want to do something dramatic" emphasis on dramatic, I'll tell you that boy- "to tell them, maybe a fancy dinner you tell them '_Mommy, Daddy I love you but I have to tell you, Augustus is' _and then you burst into tears just to have them comfort you and then I pop out of somewhere and say something totally witty and awesome" he finished. I could practically hear him waving his arms around as he finished.

"Wait, Mommy and Daddy" I laughed.

"To make it seem like the situation is really sad."

"Okay." I said, knowing what he would do.

"Okay." He replied

"Okay?" I asked

"Hazel Grace, I just died, came back to life, and you're asking me if I'm okay?" he questioned.

"Okay?" I asked again

"Hazel Grace, I'm more than okay. I'm grand"

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**Hey Guys! Sorry it took so long to post this. But I've had final exams for school and I've been studying way to much. But anyways here's chapter 2. I hope you really like it! Please Review! Love you guys to the moon and back!**


	3. Hazel Grace

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. The amazing John Green does. I only own the plot of this story.**

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**Hazel's POV: **

I woke up that morning looking like someone from _The Walking Dead_ my eyes was blood-shot and my hair was a nest on top of my head. But I was happy. Augustus was alive. He was okay. We had kept on texting even after he hung up. Apparently even though most of the cancer had disappeared, he was still sick. Not the he-is-so-sick-he-has-to-ride-in-a-wheelchair-and-he-could-die-any-moment type of sick like he was. He was the I'm-sick-but-I-still-do-stuff-and-be-smoking-hot type of sick. We were both sort of happy. So I got my lazy butt out of bed and walked over to my closet to pick out something relativity attractive to wear. I settled on a navy dress with white polka-dots and white ballet flats. Now, I know what you're thinking, _Why is Hazel getting dressed in this fancy stuff if she never really does anything fancy-ish?_, well I have an answer. Augustus might have texted me that I should dress nice because he could be let out of the hospital and take me on what I have come to call: an Augustus Waters fiasco-date. Why the fiasco part of it? I don't really know, it just sounded good. After attempting (and failing) to comb my hair, I brushed my teeth. The typical morning routine for a person. And then I went into the kitchen to eat breakfast.

"Hazel!" my mother rushed at me. She pulled me into an if-I-didn't-already-have-cancer-I-wouldn't-be-able-to-breath hug.

"I'm so sorry Hazel. Is there anything that we can do" she gestured to my dad. Obviously they didn't know that he was still alive.

"No, mom I'm fine, really" I wanted to see how they would react to me not reacting to Augustus's death. Does this make me a bad person? Whatever.

"Are you sure. You must be really sad." She took my face, worry in her eyes. I felt kind of bad.

"No mom it's fine. I'm good"

"Honey-"

"Mom."

Just then the doorbell rang.

_Perfect timing, Gus._ I thought. I knew it would be him, or his parents, but probably him.

"I've got it!" I jumped up and ran to the door. All I wanted to do was jump into his arms and lay my head on his shoulder. I wanted to lay in his arms and stay there. I opened the door.

And he stood there. Augustus Waters, alive, was standing on my doorstep. He stood there with a Camel Light dangling from his lips. With a smile on his face he said:

"Hazel Grace, how nice to see you"

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**This is a crappy chapter. No need to tell me. I know. I'm tired. But, I SAW THE FAULT IN OUR STARS MOVIE. AND I GET TO KEEP THE POSTER THAT THEY HANG UP IN THE GLASS CASE WITH THE LIGHTS. They are letting me keep it when the movie stops showing there! Anyways, Please Review. Please Excuse My Grammar. Love you guys to the moon and back!**


	4. Thinking

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. The amazing John Green does. I only own the plot of this story.**

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**Augustus's POV:**

I couldn't wait to see her. Sure I had seen her a couple of days before, but this was different. It was the first time I would see her after my so-called "death".

"Move out of the way you jerk!"

"Oh god." "Sorry!" I screamed. I was driving, and thinking. Which wasn't good. I had completely run a red light, and not started driving at a green one. I pushed the gas and went at least ten to fifteen miles over the speed limit. _Who cares_, I thought to myself. I had to see Hazel.

When I saw her house I almost jumped out of the car and ran over to her porch. But, I didn't. I didn't need to give the cops another reason to give me a ticket.

But when I pulled into her driveway, I couldn't help myself. I put the vehicle in park and hopped out. I didn't even turn the car off. I quickly ran to her doorstep and rang the doorbell. I couldn't wait. _God, help me. I'm going insane._ Normally I would never be this excited about something. But, this was different. This was Hazel, Hazel Grace, Hazel Grace Lancaster.

And then I saw her. Wearing a beautiful blue dress. And at the very last moment, right before she opened up the door, I quickly took out a pack of Camel Lights and popped one into my mouth. For effect. She opened up the door, and before she could say anything I opened up my mouth, took out the cigarette and said;

"Hazel Grace, how nice to see you"

And that's when she jumped into my arms and screeched;

"Augustus!" she had a breath-stealing grip on my shoulders. But, that didn't matter. We were here. We were here together.

And then I saw her mom and dad coming up behind her.

"Augustus, how in the world?" her mom gasped.

"It's a long story, Mrs. Lancaster."

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**Hey guys. Sorry that this is such a short chapter I've been really busy. But I really wanted to put a filler in to sort of move the plot. So this is Augustus and Hazel seeing each other for the first time after Gus gets out of the hospital. And I promise I will update _This is Life_ either tonight or tomorrow night. I have had serious writer's block for that story. Anyways, please review! Love you guys to the moon and back!**


	5. Help Me

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. The amazing John Green owns them. I only own the plot of this story.**

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**Hazel's POV:**

I was sleeping. It was nice to sleep peacefully without having the constant thought that Augustus could be dying at that very second. After we had told my parents how he had survived the almost-fatal cancer attack we had gone into my room and talked about things. We talked about; books, movies, music, and other things in our lives.

I opened my eyes. Something wasn't right. I looked over at my air tank. It was unplugged. I started freaking out, the fact that it wasn't plugged in meant that I could have been sleeping for hours without air. And with my crap lungs I could have possibly died. I started to hyperventilate, which probably wasn't any better for my lungs but, who cares really (Probably my doctors). I started to scream and cry, trying to get my parents attention.

"Hazel!" my mom came rushing into my room.

"I can't breathe" I gasped.

My dad came rushing into the room. He picked me up and rushed out placing me into the back seat of the car.

"Hurry!" my mom yelled.

The next hour was a blur; doctors putting me in a bed, tests taken, blood collected, and I faintly remember my dad calling people.

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**Hey Guys! OMG! I am so sorry that this chapter is so short! And also that this chapter is so late! I have been really busy with summer intensives. I was seriously going to make this chapter longer but I couldn't find out the best place to stop it. Sorry! Please review! Love you guys to the moon and back!**


	6. Gone

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. John Green owns them. I only own the plot of this story.**

**And my apologies if I have/will made/make any medical mistakes. Considering I have not finished my public schooling I do not think that it should be held against me.**

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**Hazel's POV:**

"It's okay, sweetie." My mom stroked my hair. Her and my dad were sitting in chairs next to my hospital bed. I didn't really remember anything after being put into a bed and wheeled away from my parents.

"It's okay. The doctors did some tests and found out that you had only been unplugged from the machine for a few minutes. They will explain the rest." She gave me one last hug and walked out, with my dad following her after giving me another quick hug.

Then the doctors walked in and the medical talk started.

So it did turn out that I had been cut off from my air supply, but not for so long that I could have died. The worst possible thing that could have happened was that I could have gone into some sort of coma. That was good to know; note the sarcasm. But that didn't happen, thankfully. And, apparently I had some "handsome" young man waiting to visit me, Augustus no doubt. So I told them to let him in. They all rushed out and in Augustus came.

"Hazel!" he dropped to his knees next to my bed. "Your mom called and told me what happened. I was so worried"

I knew what he was thinking of. He was thinking of when he was dying and he had to go into the hospital and "died".

"It's okay, Augustus. I'm fine."

"No. No, you're not okay. Hazel, you almost died."

"Okay, fine. Even though I'm alive and breathing well now, I'm obviously not okay." I was getting annoyed.

"Hazel, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, I was so worried about you." He pleaded. I had never seen him like this before. His shirt was wrinkled, there were bags under his eyes, and his hair wasn't brushed. My happy, fun-loving Augustus Waters was gone. Instead, in his place, there was a worried, tired 17-year-old.

"Hazel?"

"Yes"

"Okay?"

"Okay."

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**Hey Guys! So sorry for any mistakes. As I am writing/uploading this chapter it is currently 1 a.m. Which also explains why this chapter is so short. Sorry! Anyhow (See I mixed it up normally I say anyways) please review! And I promise I do read every single one of your reviews, it means a lot that you guys take the time to read my story and tell me what you think about it! Love you guys to the moon and back!**


	7. Goodbye

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. John Green owns them. I only own the plot of this story.**

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**Augustus's POV:**

Hazel Grace Lancaster died that day. She died on August 8th, a day that I will never forget.


	8. IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE**

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**So I know that a lot of you guys are sad/mad about me ending this story this way. The reason that I ended this story was because I wasn't updating as much and when I did update I wasn't happy with the content that I was uploading. If enough of you guys want it I might continue this story or write a sequel when school starts. But I will make sure that you guys know if I do that. **

**Just remember that I ended this story for personal reasons, not because I'm trying to be mean. I hope that you guys still continue to read our stories though.**

**Leave a review if you want me to continue this story/write a sequel.**

**Thanks for your support.**

**~ Editor/Author/Manager-ish Person of Deepinthefanfiction**


	9. Epilouge

**I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or any of the characters. John Green owns them. I only own the plot of this story.**

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I watch the scenery go by as we drive in the car. We are on our way to her funeral, the last goodbye that I can tell her. The trees, the sky, the road. Everything reminds me of her. Everything reminds me of Hazel.

Once we get to the church, the same church where we met. We walk into the church and I'm suddenly reminded of the first time that I saw her, sitting in one of the plastic chairs with a cup and cookie in her hands. I remember watching her as Patrick droned on and on about his ball-less-ness.

We are early and I see her parents sitting in the corner of the church, blowing their noses and crying, they didn't deserve this. She was their only child. At least if I had died my parents would have had my sisters.

And then I see it. The coffin. Her coffin. Dark wood, with beautiful designs.

Everything here reminds me of how much I love her. And how much I miss her.

Soon the people start to walk in. I know how much Hazel would have hated to have most of these people at her funeral. I know how much she would have liked to have just her family, me, Isaac, and some other friends here. Not all of these strangers.

Soon, people start walking up to her and are whispering things. When it's my turn I slowly walk up, respecting the silence.

I peer down and see her. She's wearing a dark blue dress. Almost like the one that she wore in Amsterdam. Some of her hair is in her face; I push it out of the way. People are staring at me but it doesn't matter right now. It's just me and her. Nobody else.

"I love you Hazel Grace"

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**Okay, you guys asked for it, like a bunch of whining children. So here it is. The epilouge of _Dead? Or Alive. _Sorry that it took so much time to upload. Anyways, love you guys to the moon and back.**


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